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By Caroline's Breast Cancer Blog
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Wallowing

Tuesday, December 6, 2016 7:30
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Recently I have been wallowing a bit too much. A few years back (2010 to be precise) I blogged about my wallowing rule – 3 day maximum. I have said that I have been whining but really what it is is wallowing.

What is the definition of wallowing? (since it is such a 'common' word. Most people probably haven't considered it since some word test back in high school):

wallow
verb (intransitive)
1. (esp of certain animals) to roll about in mud, water, etc, for pleasure
2. to move about with difficulty
3. to indulge oneself in possessions, emotion, etc: to wallow in self-pity

See? Definition #3 is exactly what I mean.

I think I have been wallowing in self pity, or the stress of more medical ailments…. I am not sure which one I prefer. If you add in lack of sleep and fatigue, ta da! You get wallowing.

After blogging yesterday, I realized I have been wallowing. I need to change my focus and be more positive. That has been hard to do when I haven't been getting enough sleep, been very busy with craft shows, Thanksgiving, house guests, concussion, and stress, depression, and anxiety, and new medical ailments. (But otherwise I am a very healthy person).

So my goals are to do less wallowing and do more positive things. Today are my first steps:

  • I am meeting a friend for lunch and a little shopping.
  • I am going to research CPAP machines so they aren't a looming mystery (causing stress).
  • I am going to fit more fun into my life. 
Being home and not having the benefit of going to work and seeing other human beings, I find I can easily let myself get depressed and then stressed which means anxiety. This is not a good combination. 
Now that we have been here for almost a year, I need to find more things to do to keep my sanity. I might breakdown and go to events at the senior center (even though I am too young to join). But I will pull my positive attitude out of my back pocket and stick a smile on my face to rejoin the human race.

Caroline\’s Breast Cancer Blog

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