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By Caroline's Breast Cancer Blog
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Tuesday, December 6, 2016 7:30
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Recently I have been wallowing a bit too much. A few years back (2010 to be precise) I blogged about my wallowing rule – 3 day maximum. I have said that I have been whining but really what it is is wallowing.

What is the definition of wallowing? (since it is such a 'common' word. Most people probably haven't considered it since some word test back in high school):

verb (intransitive)
1. (esp of certain animals) to roll about in mud, water, etc, for pleasure
2. to move about with difficulty
3. to indulge oneself in possessions, emotion, etc: to wallow in self-pity

See? Definition #3 is exactly what I mean.

I think I have been wallowing in self pity, or the stress of more medical ailments…. I am not sure which one I prefer. If you add in lack of sleep and fatigue, ta da! You get wallowing.

After blogging yesterday, I realized I have been wallowing. I need to change my focus and be more positive. That has been hard to do when I haven't been getting enough sleep, been very busy with craft shows, Thanksgiving, house guests, concussion, and stress, depression, and anxiety, and new medical ailments. (But otherwise I am a very healthy person).

So my goals are to do less wallowing and do more positive things. Today are my first steps:

  • I am meeting a friend for lunch and a little shopping.
  • I am going to research CPAP machines so they aren't a looming mystery (causing stress).
  • I am going to fit more fun into my life. 
Being home and not having the benefit of going to work and seeing other human beings, I find I can easily let myself get depressed and then stressed which means anxiety. This is not a good combination. 
Now that we have been here for almost a year, I need to find more things to do to keep my sanity. I might breakdown and go to events at the senior center (even though I am too young to join). But I will pull my positive attitude out of my back pocket and stick a smile on my face to rejoin the human race.

Caroline\’s Breast Cancer Blog


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