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I just don't blog about breast cancer as much as I used to these days. Why? Because I like to pretend it will never come back and bother me again. That is the honest answer.
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I lived the all breast cancer all the time channel. Slowly over time, I managed to tune out for bits and pieces. Now I am trying to pretend cancer will never come back and
bug me bite me in the ass again. I am pretending because I can tell you that with cancer twice in my life there are not many chances it won't come back again. The odds are not with me.
Since breast cancer, or the mid 2000s, when my body started developing so many bullshit ailments, I have found that it is possible that once you have cancer, and even if it doesn't kill you, no one wants to talk to you about any potential research. They also try to pretend they do not feel sympathy for you. They actually pity you because you are pretty untreatable for normal ailments.
I am not depressed. I am really annoyed that my ailments suck up so much time out of my life. I would like to pretend I am healthy but its not going to happen.
I think my real diagnosis is 'cynic' Or more likely bullshit cynic. But its not cancer.